Tag Archives: reaching out

May30

Life Is A Giant Roller Coaster Ride

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Are you an adrenaline junkie? Do you like roller coaster rides? I wouldn’t call myself an adrenaline junkie. However, I do love a good roller coaster ride. The ups are thrilling, the downs are scary. Together, they equal fun.

Thinking of roller coasters, I have come to realize that life is quite like a roller coaster ride – one we can’t get off of at will. If you’re anything like me, the thought is initially a good one. However, the ups and downs can be terrifying when you recognize that they are essentially never ending.

This is the trap I find myself in at the moment. I just want a breather. I want to do more than just pretend life will ever be any different.

The trouble with this, right now, is that I am finding it more and more difficult to grab a hold to those good times – for fear that the crushing and depressing times are just around the next bend. I recognize that it’s a function of embracing the moment – of loving life, right where I am. Truth be told, I do that. And at times, I am not able to.

Right now, I find that I am in the part of this eternal ride that is scary and feels almost like the cart will jump the rails, and crash. Sigh. I just want to break the cycle – and I’ve pretty much given up hope of even that possibility.

Is it too hard to ask – to just be able to raise my hands, yell with glee as I enjoy the ride? I think it is.

I’m not going to lie. I have come to really dislike the familiarity and predictability that the roller coaster ride brings. The highs and the lows – the ups and downs. The emotions and feelings that refuse to give up their grip.

So, here I sit – looking for the exit. There has to be one somewhere. So far, I haven’t found that elusive escape route.

Please, someone – please tell me this life still has the potential of love, hope, compassion and even freedom. Freedom to just live.

For anyone who will point me towards faith, counseling / therapy, talking it out, friends, is any other great coping mechanism – proceed with caution. I do stand on faith, seek help through counseling / therapy, I clearly ramble too much as it is – but I do talk when I can find friends to talk to. See, in theory, a great support system is in place. But, frankly, that system is broken. See my previous post. People sometimes don’t say what they mean, mean what they say – and their actions most certainly don’t match their words. Please don’t be that person.

So, as I sit here today, I just pray for the strength to keep going. Taking that a step further – I also pray that I continue to WANT to keep going. My fear, if I’m being honest, is that the voice of depression and grief that clouds my thoughts will grow louder than that of hope.

So, for better or for worse, that’s where I am today. Here. Breathing. With my heart still beating. Yes, there’s life yet to live.

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Mar6

365 Moments Of Gratitude – Thankful For Friendships

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There is one thing you have probably heard me talk about before, and something you will likely hear me speak about again (often) — and that is people. People need people. Everyone needs friends surrounding them and supporting them. It doesn’t make you weak to need a friend. It makes you human.

I am taking this day to be grateful for old friendships, and new ones forming. God is blessing me with beautiful people with such sweet spirits. God is helping me look internally and figure out a need for transparency. No matter how happy or how sad a situation is, it all boils down to being real. Having friends who love you through both the good and bad times is priceless.

I strongly suggest you reach out to others in your life. You might just be surprised at the love that reaches back.

I am thankful today for friendships, new and old.

Feb23

365 Moments Of Gratitude – Thankful For Scouting

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I’m thankful that my boys have been a part of Cub Scouts. Today, however, I was a part of a proud moment. My oldest earned his Arrow of Light, and made the crossover to Boy Scouts. Scouting has given them both something to belong to, and a way to reach out in tangible ways and make a difference in this community. I will post pictures and videos at a different time, but just wanted to share my gratitude to all those who are involving in helping instill positive moral values in our children. To see them growing up to be thoughtful, respectful young men – this is priceless.

Jan19

365 Moments Of Gratitude: Thankful For The Heart Of A Child

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I am routinely thankful for the heart and innocence of children. I have three such beautiful kids. They amaze me on a very regular basis.

The heart and innocence of a child is something that just warms my heart.

As we were at the Air Force base, my son came running up to where I was standing, begging for a “Little Things” card. He told me that he wanted to use some of his very own money to help someone pay for their lunch there in the food court. So, I gave him a card I found, and he ran up and stopped a transaction in mid operation, and asked the elderly woman if he could pay for her food. Both she and the gentleman behind the counter were touched. It was a small amount, only a few dollars, but it had a priceless impact. It impacted all who saw it, but also impacted my son. The pure and innocent joy on his face was heartwarming. After he did that, he came back to where I was now sitting at the table and talked about the whole thing. He smiled and waved at the woman he had helped. She came up to our table and said that he didn’t have to do that, but that she wanted to say thank you very much. She asked if I was his mother. I told her I was, and she asked if she could give him a hug. It was cute – but she wouldn’t hug him without my permission. It was a beautiful sight to behold. God working on lots of hearts that meal.

That same evening, our family went out to eat. As we were eating with the kids, my youngest struck up a conversation (or attempted it) with the two year old at the table across the walkway from us. She and her dad were dining alone. For reasons still unknown to me, God put their family on my heart. As we were leaving, my oldest son (whispering in my ear) said that we should “little thing” them – that he thought they looked like they could use some happy. After walking away, I went and found a manager. I told him I’d like to take care of their meal, and also notified their server, as they were just attempting to pay. Before I could see a reaction, I decided to leave the situation anonymous. I found one more “little things” card, and asked the server to pass it along. I’m not sure what situation they were in, but it doesn’t matter. I followed after the heart of God and just shared love and a “little thing” with someone. I don’t know what it did for them, but I can tell you it brightened my day in a beautiful way.

What I love most about this, is that doing these intentional, though random act of kindness is making a really big impact on my family. I know the things we do touch the lives of those we reach out to, but seeing my children’s giving hearts, and seeing them follow after the heart of God with such passion is definitely a proud Mama moment.