Tag Archives: hope

Dec14

Praying For Connecticut Shooting

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As there are more details, I will update this post. Right now, I’d like to make this post – lifting up the families of all those involved in an elementary school shooting this morning in Connecticut. Reading and watching news sources all over the country, there have so far been 27 confirmed dead, 18 20 of which are reported to be children. This is being noted as the worst school shooting in the history of our Nation. May God be with us.

I sit here in tears – with my heart breaking for all involved. Having children this age, I simply cannot imagine. All I want to do right now is grab them up, hug them, hold them and continue to pray. I’d like to ask you to join with me in prayer for this community, and all the nation that grieves with them.

As I browse any number of social media networks, there are numerous – too many to count – mentions of this shooting, accounts of the events unfolding, and broken hearts that accompany them. To see the love and compassion poured out from complete strangers all across the country. These lives have been touched and will never again be the same. May they see love from others, and may they know they are not alone during these dark hours.

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with all concerned – their community and also all those grieving alongside them as the healing process begins. May the God of all creation, with arms that hold the entire universe hold them today. I’m praying for their strength and comfort moving forward. Will you join me?

I’m editing this to add that I’d also like to urge you all to pray for the parents and family of the shooter(s) as well. It’s certainly not the same, but their pain is and will be real – and their lives, also, forever changed.

I’m editing this once again to add that evidently the shooter shot and killed his father, and his mother was a teacher at this school. From the reports I’m hearing, his mother was amongst the casualties inside the school. It’s being reported that this individual set out to take away the things his mother loved most…her family and her (school) kids. My heart breaks for anyone that broken hearted themselves. I simply cannot imagine. Standing in prayer with all concerned.

Now being edited to include the report that it’s been confirmed that at least 20 of the 27 deaths are children. Any life lost is precious. Somehow, as a parent, I cannot fathom losing a child…especially like this.

My final thought on this for now. Earlier today, I posted this on a friends Facebook wall – in response to an on-air broadcast I’d heard:

My heart breaks with these people during this dark hour in their lives. I just don’t get it – and I think that’s okay…cause I don’t want to be living the day when this becomes something we just come to understand – when it becomes just another day. May our hearts always grieve with those who are hurting.

Dec13

Trusting God Right Where You Are

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I wanted to share something that I thought you’d appreciate. Lately has been pretty difficult for me. No question there. However, I’m learning so many things — one is to be grateful for today. With that said, I am. Today was the first day in a while that I can honestly say that I’ve had a really good day. As such, I’m remembering to thank God for just giving me today – and especially being grateful for it being a really good day.

There is something beautiful in surrender – and trusting God in the midst of a storm. This situation is clearly beyond my control. Period. However, my new answer when people have been asking how I am is that “I’m doing okay…I don’t actually fear a diagnosis..and I serve a God larger than life…and I KNOW that he knows exactly how to take care of me.” Which is usually then followed by a “but of course I want to know…and I’m tired of not knowing, etc.” And, when I say people – I don’t limit my “God” replies to just church people or other Christians. It has become a unique opportunity to share His love with whoever, wherever…medical staff, friends, family, etc. I can tell you this. It has prompted some pretty interesting conversations.

I have been praying for God’s heart for people. To love them as He loves them…and to have a level of boldness to take His love into this community and beyond it. The thing I’m coming to realize is I’ve always been a voice of hope and “you’re not alone” etc to other people…but rarely have I ever allowed or reached out and asked others to be that same thing for me — as if I’m somehow not worthy of the same things I firmly believe for others….but I am. And so are you.

Along the lines of living life — I’ve also come to realize that life is just too short to be skin deep in our relationships. No matter what the situation, there is always capacity to love God, love people, and to make a difference. I was recently thinking about life and death. God forbid, if I were to die tomorrow – I would hope to be remembered by how I lived, and thus how I LOVED.

No matter the situation, no matter the storm, KNOW that God’s got this. His hands are holding you, and in Him you are safe. Reach out. You ARE worth it! Always remember that when times are dark, and you have trouble seeing the sun glistening through the rain, the storm is temporary. No matter how dark it looks now, there is a promise of brighter times ahead. Live life intentionally! Love God, love people, and make a difference!!

Nov14

Beyond A Diagnosis

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****I want to share this part of me with the world. This is something I have not ever shared openly – online or in person. However, the more and more I figure out how to accept myself as a child of the Most High God, I realize that this is something attached to a stigma, but not who I am. I am more. To those of you who know me in real life, and will find these things out for the first time, please understand I have had many reasons for keeping this to myself. Not many people – until today – know what I am about to share. It’s not a secret, nor is it anything I am ashamed of. My story is something I pray God can and will use to share His love and hope with the world. If you have ANY questions, please do not hesitate to ask. It is my desire that my transparency show you His love is real, and hope truly is real. I’m honored to walk through life with each of you. Please feel free to post below or to send me a message via my “contact me” page.****

The idea that I am worthy of grace simply because I’m alive seems sometimes foreign to me. Yet it’s what I’m coming to understand more and more each day. Inside me is a kid who was hurting, a teen who questioned too much, a young adult who explored and got lost, and ultimately a human being in need of grace and forgiveness.

My life has had good times, and bad times, and really bad times. The value of my life, to others and to God, never made sense to me. I wasn’t suicidal, but I also didn’t care if I lived or died.

One day, I realized the need for tangible help. I visited a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I did not like – nor want – this diagnosis. And yet, there it was. I learned to cling to it. It explained why things were how they were. It became who I was. I was told I would need medications forever. My life would never again be med-free. It quickly consumed me, and became what I saw when I looked at myself.

But, it wasn’t me. It was a diagnosis. A shoe size. A hair color. A condition. But not me.

I finally came to realize that no diagnosis would define me. It may be a part of who I am, but it is not all I am. God’s grace and love defines me more than a disorder ever will.

With the help of people who let me know I mattered, I was able to see hope – one day (or hour) at a time. And today, when it sometimes feels like my heart is breaking into a thousand little pieces, I listen to the message and words of hope and I truly know that my life matters. God’s grace is sufficient to reach even me.

To anyone else who is hurting – please know that there IS hope. Don’t ever give up. Don’t ever accept a lie and be labeled something you are not. You are important, and you matter. You are not a past. You are not a reputation. You are not a diagnosis.

You ARE a child of God.