Tag Archives: it’s okay to not always be okay

Issuing A Challenge – Remembering How To Smile

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I was just browsing through some pictures of my sweet girl. For those of you who might be unaware, my little girl passed away three and a half years ago after fighting a one of a kind brain cancer. I have shared previously on this blog, and I’m fairly certain I will share again in the future.

11026172_803042006452078_6786944172042754938_nThis one, like so many, captured her personality. Sweet and dainty, yet fierce and vibrant.

She wasn’t afraid to wear what she wanted, when she wanted, simply because she wanted. She wasn’t afraid to go against the grain. She wasn’t held back by societal norms. She was authentic. She was real. She loved people well, and she was loved.

I write this because the thought grabbed my heart. Why aren’t we all a little more like Janet – a little more like an innocent child? Yes, we live in a broken world, and it’s easy to become jaded in the face of the polar opposite of love.

When we hurt, when we walk through trauma – through hell on Earth, it’s easy to grow calloused and protect the vulnerable interior.

But, I want to challenge you today. Just as I seem to need to challenge myself.

Let’s take a look at my little girl. Take a look at your own child. Maybe take a look at yourself as a child. Go back to a time where there was innocence. Remember a time where happy existed. Remember the moments where you’d go outside and play, or perhaps beg for ice cream from the ever sounding ice cream truck.

Think on times that society had not yet set “norms” and expect you to adhere to. Think on love. Think about what would happen if you allowed yourself to abandon all those preconceived notions on what life could or should be like, only if…Allow yourself to simply, be.

Give yourself permission to be who you are, who you are right now, to feel how you feel in this moment, and to know that somehow – that has to be okay.

Recognize that it truly is okay to not always be okay. Just try, even moment by moment, to not live in that place forever. Try to see the beauty. Know that even when hope may seem to be playing an epic game of hide and seek – it is only hiding, not missing. It isn’t gone. Drill that fact into your head and heart. For, know this. There will be times that your head and your heart are at war.

If you can teach yourself some simple truths, to hold onto during those rocky times – those broken fragmented moments will pass, or you’ll at least be closer to enduring them with even slightly more strength.

I wrote all that to say this – all hope is not lost. It may be the hardest thing you do today, but think of something that makes you smile. If you are not happy right now, if you are hurting – think back to even just one thing, to one time you were happy. Allow yourself to smile, even laugh. It may not last forever, but allow it to last for this moment. This moment matters. You matter. You are worth it. Your continued story is worth it. You are valued. Just as you are. Here and now. Take the time you need to simply, be. And know that it is enough for this moment. And for the next moment. Strength is grown moment by moment.

If you are hurting today, know that you are not alone. I am too, and I understand the sting of pain. I understand missing a child, a brother, a cousin, a friend, and many others. But, I also know the value in reaching out. In community. In being part of a tribe.

Thank you for continuing to be a part of my story – my journey. I need people in my life, and I know you do as well. It is part of the human condition. We are created as community people. To do life alongside each other. Thank you for giving me that gift. To those who continue to share your love, and your thoughts and/or prayers – know you have my continued gratitude. Please, never stop.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to further discuss, please feel free to reach out – either in the comments below, or you can always feel free to send me a message. I love connecting with this beautiful community. A community founded on love.

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365 Moments Of Gratitude – Thankful For The Gift Of Friendship

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Today, as many other days, I find myself grateful for friendship. As my best friend has lost her brother, I am grateful for a friendship that has spanned multiple decades now. I realize just how important friends are. This is one of the darkest times for her, and her family. It breaks my heart. That’s the thing about friends. Friends hurt together. My heart is broken, missing a very special person – and it’s broken — just knowing how much she is hurting. The point of this is not to talk about all this pain – but rather shine a bright light on the value of friendship.

It is a friend who will hold your hand, who will tell you it’s okay to cry, to make sure you know it’s also okay to not be okay — in the midst of what may seem like the darkest day you know. A friend is someone who knows you inside and out, and loves you still the same. A friend may not always agree with you, but won’t hesitate to tell you the truth, in love. A friend will run and play with you during the great times, and will not hesitate to be there with you in the troublesome times either.

I am just so very grateful for the gift of friendship today.

365 Moments Of Gratitude: Thankful For A Reminder – It’s Okay To Not Always Be Okay

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Yes, it’s true. It’s okay to not always be okay. There are times in all our lives that life isn’t perfect. It’s what we do during those times that dictate how the next 20 minutes (or day/week/month) will go. This is on my heart because I just realized how not okay I am right now. Don’t get me wrong. I will be fine. This happens from time to time – for one reason or another – and I deal. I realize that how I feel right now is temporary, and as such, won’t last forever. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this, and that it’s one of those part of human nature.

That said, it’s what I’m choosing to do with this that I believe will make the difference. I will be open and transparent, and also reach out. I’ll ask my friends in real life, and those of you who are reading to stand with me. I will not stand alone.

If you are curious – there are a variety of things going on right now that are making me think and/or feel the way I do in this instant. Part of it may be a random chemical imbalance. Part my be my crazy thyroid. Part may be a pending medical issue. Part may be transition. Part may be things completely out of my control. Moral to the story – all these parts add up. They do for me, they would for you.

It’s my choice to see a God larger than life in the midst of it all. It’s my choice to also just be honest and let you know – it’s okay to not always be okay. During those times, I encourage you to do what I am doing – reach out. You aren’t alone. Neither am I. If you have taken the time to read this, please know that I am grateful for you, and for your friendship and prayers. Please know it is reciprocal. You are loved, friends!