–
INSTALLING LOVE

Tech Support: Yes, Ma’am…. how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart, ma’am?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma’am?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support : With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error – Program not run on external components .” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry, ma’am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non- technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

— Author Unknown

One of the biggest things I am learning right now is the sheer peace and joy in being thankful and sharing gratitude. Take right now, at this very instant – for example. Many people asked how I am coping right now, especially with the unknown. It isn’t all easy, but nor is it at any point I cannot comprehend how to deal with.

The one thing that is keeping me going day after day (and not just in this situation) is a thought I shared with a friend recently. I said I was praising God. The response jokingly questioned my sanity – wondering how it was I could possibly praise Him at a time like this. What better time!? It means the world that God is giving me people who can understand, care and surround me in prayer. I do not want to walk through any part of life, this included – good or bad, alone. I am praising God right now not FOR the situation and uncertainty I find myself in, but DURING it. God is holding me in a way not otherwise possible. For that, I am – and will remain – grateful.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (New Living Translation) so aptly states, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

Let’s break that down. Does God’s word here tell us to be thankful when it looks bright and sunny outside? Does He tell us to be grateful when all is right in the world? Yes! But, not ONLY at that time. Give thanks IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. This scripture really breathed life right into my faith. Whether you are walking through some of the brightest days of your life, or whether you find yourself at some of the darkest moments you’ve ever known – this scripture is for you. Give thanks. Period. No matter what you are facing, give thanks!

When you take the time to give thanks (and I know sometimes this really requires a conscious decision) your entire attitude will transform accordingly. It never ceases to amaze me how very faithful God is in the midst of our circumstances. In all things, give Him thanks!

I would like to give my readers an inside look at this past week – for no other reason than it can give you a targeted way to pray. That, and I’d also like to share my gratitude with each and every one of you. I thank you for reading, for caring and for connecting/reaching out.

With regards to the cryptic explanations I’ve given thus far, I’d like to share a little more. This past week has been quite the whirlwind in my life. Not all bad, but just happening all around me. Most things outside of my control. Last week, during routine breast exam, I discovered breast lumps/masses. I went to the doctor the next day, and the concern was the possibility of breast cancer. I also had a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound two days ago. The disconcerting issue was not what they saw on imaging, but what did not show up. The “palpable masses” as they were referred to did not show up on imaging at all. They could be felt, but not seen. I questioned this, wondering how exactly that happened. Anyway, it just evidently does. They referred to it as possibly a stealth tumor.

To get a better look at what we are or aren’t facing, I’ve been referred to a breast surgeon for consult. We will decide how to proceed. I was told the likely course would be either biopsy or lumpectomy.

My reasoning for writing this post is to share gratitude with each of you for reading, but much more – for praying. As I have said before – I obviously hope this is not breast cancer, and that God completely heals every aspect of my body. Beyond that, however, I want to surrender this area of my life to Him: my health. As silly as it sounds to many, this is a reality and necessity for me. No matter what happens, I want to put my life and health in His hands…trusting that He knows exactly how to take care of me. He has given me this life, body and health I have, and I am blessed. Regardless of what health issues arise, I am His. I’m continuing to pray that my eyes remain focused on Him, with my trust also in Him – KNOWING that He’s got this!

This is a lesson that is becoming a reality in my life, and I pray in the lives of all who read this. Know today how valuable you are to God, and how He knows your every details. No matter the nature of your life, concerns or difficulties – He is there, asking for you to trust Him. Trust Him with all of you. He will not ever let you down.

I just wanted to share a quick reflection on some small things that happened yesterday. To start off my morning, I had the honor of serving / volunteering – and thus, was wearing my church shirt – proudly displaying our church name across the front. Volunteering went great, and the service was amazing. After church, we went to lunch. As I was about to pull into the one and only spot that was available in the entire parking lot, I felt that little tug – that the person that had just pulled up (and clearly angling for MY spot) needed that spot. I felt urged to wave her on into the spot, and to go on and find another place to park in the capacity lot. I had no idea what she might have been going through, but it was clear that I needed to give up the spot. What I didn’t realize is how instrumental something so small would be in initiating conversation with my children about doing the right thing, about acting how God wants us to act, and for listening to His leading — even in the small things. Don’t worry. We got a spot. We drove around the building a time or two. When we got back around, my ten year old proudly exclaimed that there was another spot just opening up, and it was for us! He said (wise little boy) that it amazed him that when we listen to God, He will often give us something better. Now, that’s a simple concept – but it’s true on so many levels.

When we surrender our lives to Him, and allow Him to work in and through us, that is when life-change happens. There are times that nothing terrible will happen if we don’t heed His voice, but the reward is beyond measure when we do.

As we were walking in, I remembered I was wearing my church shirt. I smiled. I, then, remembered the significance of this. Wearing this shirt, I am a representative of my Church. More than that, though, I am a representative of Jesus. There was another occasion at lunch that, let’s just say, frustrated me. I was upset, and was justified in this. However, I paused to think. While I was thinking, I felt the need to just sit and be still. To allow God to be God. So, my son asked if I was going to go over and talk to the person and basically put them in their place. I told him no, and he asked why. Another opportunity for some life lessons. I explained what I did at the beginning of this paragraph. I am representing our church, and also Jesus. I shared with Him that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves grace. I also explained that I’m human, and had all sorts of different, less pleasing to God, responses prepared. However, God also gives us self control. While it’s our choice to exercise said self control, it’s definitely wisdom. Sometimes doing the right thing in the eyes of God doesn’t mean doing what feels good to you – or even what you may be justified in. Nothing else became of that particular situation, and there was peace once again.

I would urge you, while wearing a church or other organization shirt or not, always remember what, and more importantly WHO you represent. As a Christian, you might be the only representative of Jesus a person sees. Make it the right impression!

Today, like most other Sunday morning’s was time for church. This is a life-giving highlight of my week every week. After the past few days, I was not in the worlds best frame of mind this morning when I went to church at first. I was asked to serve this morning handing out our worship guides. That made me smile. I found that, especially this morning, connecting with people really changed my attitude – it put me in such a better frame of mind. I prayed that the joy of the Lord would be my strength, and that He would use my volunteering to His glory. As He always will do, God showed Himself faithful. It’s such an honor to share His love with those who walk through the church doors. As I have said before, though – I firmly believe the volunteer is impacted in a very special way. Serving Him and people helps the person serving, and the people they’re reaching out to. Ask me how I know.

I am also grateful for our praise and worship team, who were on fire. They consistently help promote an atmosphere where people can enter into the presence of God – with today being no exception. The energy present was such a sweet, healing presence. Such joy.

I thank God for a pastor who follows and shares the heart of God without compromise. Today he brought the life giving word in such a real way. In speaking with transparency and a level of vulnerability, He showed people that he is not only human, but forgiven. The message today was down to earth, and so very pertinent to anyone with ears to hear, and/or eyes that see. The moral to the story is that we, each and every one of us, are human. Every person alive struggles. For one person, it may be stealing things. You might think no one will notice that extra garment you cleverly hid with your own things. No one saw you, and no one was hurt. Wrong. You were hurt. You just sold a part of yourself for a little slice of thievery. Another person might struggle with telling lies. A liar finds all sorts of ways and things to lie about. The problem often is, when the lies begin, it is hard to remember which part is fact / true, and which part is a lie. You start having to cover up one lie with another lie, and it gets unmanageable. It just tears away at your integrity, piece by piece. Say your struggle is with pornography. Your thoughts initially are that just one glance won’t hurt. No, it may not – but it opens the door. What you see, the image in your brain is there. No getting rid of it. It’s the second glance, thoughts and/or actions that follow that real damage is able to come from.

The issue is, again pulling the message on integrity (from last week) back into this, every little thing chips away at your integrity. Who you are, and what defines you is based on what you do – outside and also behind closed doors. You may do things in private that no one sees, and no one knows. However, even the little things will tear away at you. When they do, you lose less and less of yourself. Who you are is not who you want to be, but you can’t find yourself.

I am not (and neither are you) expected to be perfect. We all struggle. We all fall short. The beauty of the situation is forgiveness. God forgives. No matter what you’ve done, or where you’ve strayed to, God is there. He knows what happens out in the open, and also behind closed doors. He loves you still the same. No matter the choices we make, He loves us. His love is true, real and life-changing.

No matter what struggles you face today, or what struggles you gave into yesterday, give them to Him. Ask Him to fill you with the desire to seek Him with a pure heart. Whatever distractions you need to put behind you, and to walk away from – ask Him to give you the strength. Ask Him to protect your heart – at times, even from yourself. This won’t be an easy fight, and it may be something you find yourself battling time and time again. This doesn’t have to break you down, but can help actually strengthen you. The more you are able to keep focused on Him, the more you will be able to conquer that and continue on in His will – living the life He has carefully selected just for you.

The blog post title here pretty much says it all. I wanted to combine this topic, as both have made a life-changing impact in my life. I would not be who I am, or where I am if not for either.

I want to break down a few barriers and let people see a different side of me – a vulnerable side, for lack of better words. My life has been anything but normal. As I recently joked, I’m not sure I would know “normal” if it walked up next to me on the street. You know what? I’m actually okay with that. My philosophy is that God created each and every one of us to be different. He didn’t make us all drones for a reason. He had a plan in mind. Those who see themselves as less than perfect – He sees as His creation, whom He made with a plan and a purpose.

I haven’t always felt that way, or grasped tightly to that as a solid truth in my own life. I won’t lie. Life has not always been that stereotypical bed of roses. There have been so many ups, and so many downs – with emotions all across the board at times. Does this make me broken? No, I’m standing on the reality that it makes me human.

I said all that to give you a glimpse into what makes me well, me – but also to bring you to a point in my life I found myself – and how my local church in connection with Christian radio has made such a lasting and life-changing impact on my life.

There was a point where I found myself at a crossroads, with many potentially life-altering decisions at hand. Truth be told, I had found myself at a fairly dangerous place. I came to realize that I had become content living the status quo – having given up that things would or even could ever be any different. It was hard because I was having trouble seeing the virtual light at the end of the tunnel.

I was at a place mentally that I was struggling to love myself and also struggling to understand how anyone else, let alone the creator of the entire universe could love me so unconditionally. At one point, I was in my car driving far from home – after what had been a very trying and heartbreaking week. I was in a city not my own, unsure of so many things. I wanted desperately to believe there was more to life than what I had staring me in the face at that moment.

As I was driving, I felt like I needed a mental distraction. I needed something to take my mind off of the thoughts I could not convince to leave. So, I turned on the radio, and came across a Christian station. It was as if God reached out through the radio and grabbed me by the heart. He wanted to remind me that He cared – and that He loved me with an intense love – just because I was His child. The song that melted my heart that day was “Beautiful” by the band Mercy Me. The first verse says, “Days will come when you don’t have the strength – When all you hear is you’re not worth anything – Wondering if you ever could be loved – And if they truly saw your heart, they’d see too much…You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You are made for so much more than all of this. You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful. You are treasured, you are sacred. You are His. You’re beautiful….Praying that you have the heart to fight – ‘Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight – For all the lies you’ve held inside so long – They are nothing in the shadow of the cross….” and it goes on. But, I think you can see (just by reading the lyrics) how life changing and how God centered these lyrics are. They reached out and touched me exactly where I was, at exactly the moment I needed Him the most.

Had I not been prompted (no doubt by the Holy Spirit) to turn on the radio when I did, I’m not sure what would have become of that moment. I did though, and was blessed more than there were words to say. What is really amazing, though, is that the radio station I was listening to that day is completely listener supported. Their supporters make it so hurting people everywhere can be blessed and get a taste of His love – sometimes at some pretty dark moments. I’m grateful to everyone who supports Christian radio because it makes it available for all of us who need it. I’m not alone in needing to hear the words of songs just like that.

Right around this same “season” in my life, I decided to attend a church just a few miles from my house actually. I had passed by the church hundreds of times, and seen signs for it regularly. I always had a mental note to “one day” go there. I have no idea why that Sunday was the time that became “it” to go, but it was. It was strong on my heart to go. I didn’t know why, but I decided to go. When I first approached the doors, I was apprehensive. What I was met with, however, would come to also change my life forever. Put simply, it was love. God’s love. As I walked in, I was greeted with a smile and some warm and welcoming individuals. What struck me most was the ability to walk in and not feel like just another number. I felt like a valued guest, like someone they cared about. They had no idea what brought me through the doors that day, and they weren’t concerned. They knew I had a story (just as everyone does) and loved me for me. They didn’t have an agenda, and they welcomed me (and anyone) to come just as I was.

Again, I wanted so desperately to fit in – to be a part of something more. I didn’t want to feel like that outsider, looking in. I wanted to believe that there was more to life than the perpetual roller coaster it felt like I was on. I wanted to cling to the thought that there was a God who loved me unconditionally – and that, no matter where I was, or what brought me to the place I was at, He’d love me still the same. The people at church acted as the hands and feet of Jesus, but in human form. As I went the next time, I still really wasn’t okay. Mentally, I was in a dark place. As I was getting ready to leave, a member of the church leadership took the time to just simply ask how I was doing. I told him that I didn’t really know – that the jury was still out on that one. I was prepared to leave it at that. However, instead of leaving it at that and just going on with the day, he stopped and asked what was going on. Since he was a complete stranger, I wasn’t really all that comfortable just opening up and sharing my life. He understood. He wasn’t as concerned with what brought me through the doors that day, as much as how the church could help. He asked what they could do that would make a difference. What he didn’t know was what a difference just that small gesture made. God reached out in love through the people at church that day – at such a pivotal point in my life.

There was a point that I felt just broken, almost beyond repair. Through it all, and through the people God placed in my life, He picked up the pieces. Even when I felt as if my heart had shattered in about a thousand little pieces, I knew that all the pieces were in His hands. I was learning slowly, but surely how much the creator of the entire universe loved and cared about me.

The entire message I am trying to bring home is that Christian radio has the potential of meeting a need and ministering to such a diverse group of people spanning such a huge geographical area. Conversely, the local church is vital to any community. Without it, there would be so many more lost and hurting people. I can sincerely say I have no idea where I would be today if not for God’s love reaching out through both.

There have been a few things this week that cause me to pause, sit back and just talk to God. A few days ago, a health concern arose. A doctor’s appointment was quickly made, and did not go as planned. The news wasn’t good, but further tests are pending. My initial thought was that I did not want to go to either of the appointments because I really think there isn’t a concern, and that it is nothing. I did not want to waste my time or a doctors time with such a potentially trivial issue. However, if it isn’t nothing, it is something. More specifically, if it’s not just commonplace, it’s potentially very bad. If I have learned anything recently, it is most definitely the vital nature of reaching out, and especially asking for prayer.

In speaking with a friend, he had this to say when I explained the situation and asked him to stand with me in faith and prayer: “You got it. Put your trust in His hands, regardless of the outcome…He’s got this!” That statement was powerful and really changed my attitude in that moment. There are several key elements, and they all lead to the fact that God’s in control. He’s the same yesterday, today and forever. He created us. No matter what situation we face, He’s got it…He is in control.

It doesn’t have to be an unsure health situation. It could be purchasing a home, decisions within a marriage, stress or strife, etc. No matter what situation, God is still God, and He is and will remain in control. It is, however, vital to place the situation in His capable hands. His plan for you is good, and never bad. He has a purpose for your life, and it is not to bring you harm or destruction – rather, to bring you hope and a future. (Paraphrased from Jeremiah 29:11)

Though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the results of the upcoming testing, I know He’s got this. I have peace knowing that He is still God, and He will take care of me, no matter what the outcome. I am, however, believing in complete restoration of how my body was created. Healing if there are issues that require His healing touch.

Join me in turning your eyes to Jesus, and truly grasping hold of the FACT that God is still God, and He still sits on the throne. Yes, I keep repeating that – but it’s important, and worth the repetition! Keep your focus on Him, and allow Him to hold you, and to give you peace and strength – no matter what you face! Remember – He’s got this (whatever the this that may concern you at this moment) and He’ll take care of you!