Tag Archives: struggle

Spiritual Recovery Group – Who Needs That!? 

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I want to share this opportunity with you. Before you shut down at the word opportunity, please keep reading. Give me a couple minutes of your time. YOU are worth it. 

When you read a title about spiritual recovery, you might have laughed to yourself like I did when I was told about the group. That all changed when I took the time to dig deeper, and really understand the value of what was being offered. I will share briefly why this is so, SO very important to me. 

If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, it should come as no surprise that I am hurting – in about a billion places, for nearly as many reasons. My heart is shattered, and I feel disconnected and broken in too many areas. I often feel as if I don’t even know who I am anymore – especially when it comes to being a Christ follower, a Christian. 

My daughter passed away five months ago after a three year battle with a one of a kind brain cancer. That does something to your soul. To every aspect of your life, if we’re being honest. To say that I’ve lost faith is inaccurate. To say that I have completely unwavering faith – also somewhat inaccurate. To say there are days I’d kinda like to punch God in the face – accurate! To say I have so many questions, and no clue how to navigate them – completely accurate. 

I am at a place that I recognize the need for clarity. I grew up around church my whole life. I had, and still have faith. However, recently, I became aware that my faith want built on a very strong foundation. I have realized the need to own my own faith. I no longer desire to follow blindly. As such, I’m finding the desperate need for digging deeper, researching more, and not only knowing that I have faith – but the why behind my faith. 

Enter this spiritual recovery group. 

This group offers an incredible amount of hope to me personally. I joined this group, and would like to offer you the same opportunity. 

Because the life and legacy my seven year old daughter leaves – one of hope, grace and especially love – I wanted to also share that there are now two partial scholarships available. The cost of the course is $149, but two people are now able to attend for just $75. Would you be one of these two people to join me? 

From the website offering this online group:

As a former  youth pastor and worship leader, I know how deep the words of well-meaning people can cut. Even after Bible college and ten years of traditional ministry, I was secretly addicted to pornography. And when all of my mess became public, it seemed my family was too messy for the church. My desire for this recovery group is to help people take off the mask of performance-based Christianity, find healing for their wounds, and move forward.

Here’s a sad fact: the church is often too scared or ill-prepared to tackle the hard topics.But our lack of engagement with broken people is literally killing God’s children. The good news? I have been re engaging my faith and the local church for the past four years, and I can tell you that refusing to live like a victim has changed my life. Recovery isn’t easy, but second chances are possible for you…and the church.

Who is this group for?

  • Someone longing to engage their faith after years of being disconnected from the local church.
  • A person wanting to engage the local church again but in need of clear boundaries.
  • Anyone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness and is scared of what the church will say.
  • A member of the LGBTQ community who fears they can no longer belong to a faith community.
  • Someone in a crisis of faith.
  • Anybody who feels “soul confusion” and is longing for clarity, belonging, and hope that God is still listening.



For me, I personally fit into multiple categories listed above in the “who is this group for” section. 

I know this is a group beneficial to not only me, but countless others who may be lost, hurt, broken, unsure, or any number of other emotions. Would you like to join me? I’d love to walk through this experience with you. If you are unable to afford the full price, please don’t let that be your stopping point. 

You can reach out here in comments, email me directly via the contract me page. Or, you can reach out to Steve Austin, on the blog post he shares about the group, and also scholarship opportunity

No matter if you join this group, or where you are in your faith journey, please don’t do it alone. You aren’t alone. Allow others to walk with you. You deserve it, as do those you’ll do life with! 

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Community Challenge – In Three Sentences Or Less

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Challenge time

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It’s about community – it’s importance, and how it makes a difference.

Here’s your challenge. Think of a person you respect. Tell them in three sentences or less things you love about them, and remind them of things they may struggle to remember on their own.

I welcome you to post your answers here in the comments – or feel free to connect via my contact me page and I’ll update this post with all of our community of answers. Comment or message me with as many people as you’d like. This is all about love.

The first person who came to mind is To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) founder, Jamie Tworkowski. Here are the things I wish he knew and could always hang onto:

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Jamie is a kind hearted person who encourages, shares hope and compassion, and loves people well. He is tremendously loved as a son, brother, uncle, friend, comrade, and one day a lifelong companion. He lives life authentically, but with vulnerability as he tells his own story of brokenness and triumph, pain mixed with hope, and sees value in all people – all the while reminding everyone that it’s okay to not be okay, to be honest, and that everyone has a story worth telling, and one that is full of love and hope, while also remembering that rescue is possible.

(See what I did there? I made about six sentences into three – all with the magic of breaking all sorts of grammar rules – so I beg you now — don’t think it necessary to remind me of this.)

I may share and highlight others as well – but wanted to give everyone a chance to #RememberTheLove.

An Internal Look At Why I Write What I Do

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Lately, I have talked a great deal about – even in the midst of life’s storms – seeing the good things, and enjoying life. No matter what situation you’re in, and what path of life you’re walking, I want you to have joy. I don’t want you to walk through it alone. In fact, I consider it an honor to walk through life with you.

That said, I’d like to take another internal look at the “why” behind the things I write. I feel like being authentic with an added layer of transparency is the only way to go. Those of you who know me, know I’ve struggled with this concept for a long time. It is a concept that makes me wonder what you will think if you know the truth. If you really know ME, would you still like me? Of course you would, because I’m awesome.

While I joke, I’m absolutely serious. That’s just the thing. It had been a long time struggle. To a degree, it still is. The point in my life I’m at right now, though, is how I react to said insecurities. Right now, I have learned to love myself. I have learned to see myself as a much loved child of the creator of the Heavens and the earth. I am a child of God, and thus what you think will not change who I am. As a side note, I DO care what you think, but I will not let it dictate my character.

NOW, that was a little bunny trail. I’m writing to you today to simply be real. To let you know a few things about what makes me tick. I have written a decent deal about fighting this rare, aggressive cancer with my four year old daughter lately. It’s been a huge part of my life, and the lives of those close to us. That said, I want to also stress that just because our daughter is the center of the universe right now, and that everything does seem to center around her care, it’s not all that exists. Good and bad. Everything that was there prior to her diagnosis is still there. Her siblings are still there, loving as always. I am still struggling with the roller coaster ride that accompanies bipolar disorder. I’m dealing with taking care of that while I take care of her too. As a side note, that is actually under control well right now. It became an issue where I learned that it’s okay to not always be okay. It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to need help sometimes. It’s okay for me, and it’s okay for you. If I’m able to take care of me, I can take care of the children as well. Even though cancer hit our family, everything else we deal with didn’t just magically disappear.

Those are physical and mental struggles and things I deal with. I’d also like to talk a little bit about my faith. Without regard to any situation (cancer or otherwise) that I find myself walking, I maintain a faith in a God larger than life. It is through Him that I have strength – even in the midst of some of life’s darkest storms. I live by the following thoughts: God is still God. God is still good, and He IS in control. No matter what the outcome is, and no matter where the varied paths lead, my trust is in Him.

Things that can, are put on the virtual back burner. There are things, however, that just don’t wait – even if life is crazy or centers around hospitals, doctors, chemo, cancer, etc. What will NOT happen, however, is it will not win. Cancer will not destroy our family. What I will do, though, is ask for your continued support and prayers. They absolutely mean the world. PLEASE do not hesitate to ask how I am, or how any other member of my family is. We all enjoy connecting, and don’t want to let this whole situation put who we are on hold…well, on hold for longer than it needs to be.

I’m pretty sure this blog post is pointless. It says nothing of real substance, but it will give you an inside look at me, and the “why” behind much of what I write. With that said, more of it will make sense on upcoming days, as I sort through all that is on my heart and in my mind to share.

Thanks for standing with me on this and all the different paths I walk. If you have any questions, or would like to make any comments, please feel free to post below in comment, or send a message via my “contact me” link. I look forward to connecting.

Faith In The Struggle

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Your faith will be illuminated, especially in the midst of a struggle. No matter what the situation – good or bad, whatever faith you propose to have — it is that faith that people will see. How you respond in the struggle will be a true test of what level of faith and trust you have in the Maker of all of creation.

My life recently has been turned upside down. I am struggling in a way that I don’t even always understand. As I find myself walking down this new path that I certainly didn’t ask for, I do find my faith being strengthened. I don’t understand what all is happening, but I love a God larger than life. Regardless of the struggle, He is faithful. He is good, and that is never changing.

Does that mean I like where I am, or what’s going on? Not at all. Am I grateful that God is able to use even this for a greater purpose? Yes, that I can answer yes to.

What is my struggle, you may be wondering? Let me share…

We found out two weeks ago today that my four year old daughter had a brain tumor. Talk about unexpected. There was the thought that she had a viral illness, and nothing more. Certainly not this. She underwent surgery to remove it a week and a half ago. The surgery was successful, and it appears that they got it all. That is the really good news. The fact that it’s aggressive and rapidly spreading – not so much. So, even though they got it all, it’s quite likely that she’ll have to go through chemo and/or radiation as well.

I wrote the following few thoughts four days after she was admitted at the hospital:

It’s really a hard thing sometimes – maintaining faith in the middle of some unimaginable emotions and situations. I have faith in a God larger than life. He created my little girl, and He knows her – from the inside out. He knows exactly what she needs, and how to take care of her. No matter what she (or any of us) goes through, He gets it. His love for her is strong, and never failing.

I know I sound like I’m preaching – and I guess to a point, I am. My thought pattern is this – regardless of what’s going on in that little body of hers, God is still in control. I don’t have to understand or even like what’s going on, but He is definitely in control. He is holding her safely in the palm of His hand.

My faith is strong, and I pray will remain unshaken. I hope that I can continue to see this through the lens of faith, and perspective of His amazing love.

Faith in the struggle. Struggle allows you too realize that things don’t always go as planned. In the midst of a struggle, though, it is okay for things to not always be okay. The key when things aren’t going as planned is to just know with certainty that God’s got this… Yes, even this.

As you can imagine, things are very tough right now. It’s odd, because it’s almost as if my heart is simultaneously broken and filled with hope, all in one. What I can say is this though. God is still good, and that fact remains. Please know how much we value your friendship, support, encouragement and especially – your prayers. Grateful beyond words.